They Really Hate Lawyers, Don't They?

"It is interesting to note that criminals have multiplied of late, and lawyers have also; but I repeat myself." - Mark Twain

Reading about the dispute regarding the stare decisis issue between Justice Paul and Justice Sri Ram now make me think that even lawyers themselves hate lawyers, don't they? I'mnot going to comment who's right or wrong between the two learned judges, but I'd like to do what Irsha and Sam did - share some internet and email jokes with you. But these jokes are specially meant for lawyers (jangan marah bang!).

 What do lawyers use for birth control? Their personalities.
 What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A tick falls off of you when you die.
 Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? To prevent clients from being billed twice for what is essentially the same service.
 What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their neck in sand? Not enough sand.
 What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the middle of the road? There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
 What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A Doberman.
 Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons? If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
 What do lawyers and sperm have in common? One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
 Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps? They had pictures of lawyers on them ...and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
 Lawyer's creed: A man is innocent until proven broke.
 What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull? Lipstick.
 What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving from an airplane? Skeet.
 What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer? Chelsea Clinton If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why should you swerve to avoid hitting him? It might be your bicycle.
 Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythical creatures.
 It was so cold last winter ... (How cold was it?) I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.
 A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the lawyer's rates. "$50.00 for three questions", replied the lawyer. "Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man. "Yes," the lawyer replied, "and what was your third question?"
 You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? You shoot the lawyer. Twice.

Last dose.A lawyer in Charlotte, NC purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim with the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued....and won! In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be "unacceptable fire," and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000.00 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."
But... After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000.00 fine. This is a TRUE news story. NOT a joke.

Macam Mana Nak Cantik?

Leceh kalau tanya soalan ni pada lelaki, kan? Jawapan macam-macam je: "Kau dah memang cantik" (ada udang sebalik batu kan?); "Kau jangan pakai apa-apa, mesti cantik!" (somebody please call the ambulance and paramedic for this guy please!); "Kenapa pulak kau nak jadi cantik?" (patut tak aku kata dia bodoh?)Sahabat aku pernah jawab "Ada orang akan anggap kau cantik, ada yang tak". "So? Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder?" "Yes. Definitely. Tapi sebab beholder tu manusia, dan manusia selalunya berubah-ubah fikiran, kau faham sendiri la.". "Jadi, kecantikan kena ikut citarasa semasa?" "Ya. Makin panjang masa berlalu, maka peliklah citarasa." "Pelik?" "Makin masa berlalu, makin kita tua, makin tak cantik." "Habis tu apa yang pelik?" "Sebab masih sayang." Tak semua orang akan anggap wanita dalam gambar-gamabr ni cantik. Sahabat aku mungkin ada citarasa tersendiri. Tapi aku rasa aku tau yang mana satu jadi idaman dia, kan bang? Kalian anggap yang mana cantik? Semuanya? Memang tak hairan kalau seorang perempuan meuji seorang perempuan yang lain sebagai cantik. Bukan tak biasa ya kita dengar orang perempuan kata "Cantiknya perempuan tu!". Tapi terasa pelik kan kalau kita dengar seorang lelaki kata "Handsomenya jejaka tu!" Ngeri!
Yang ini pilihan kau, bang?

Endearing

Endearing...
An e-mail from someone saying "I am thinking of you"

Endearing...
A hug from an innocent child, out of the blue

Endearing...
A remark from a friend saying "Hey, you know what, I miss you"

Endearing...
A forgotten song, playing at the back of your mind, reminding you of "those" times

Endearing...
An unexpected flower from your sweetheart

Endearing...
A favourite dish cooked by your mother especially for you

Endearing...
An old battered book you never tired of reading again and again

Endearing...
A picture from your childhood that touched your heart

Endearing...
A soft, old teddy bear remains by your side all these years

Endearing...
A handmade card from your child saying "Mummy, I love you"

Endearing...
A cup of hot cocoa from your sibling when you are cold

Endearing...
A "How's your day" from your daddy when you reached home

Endearing...
A beautiful rainbow across the sky

Endearing...
Your favourite song playing on the radio while you are having a bad day

Endearing...
A piece of chocolate offered to you when you need your sweet fix

Endearing...
the word it self carries such a soft, gentle, beautiful sound.. and meaning too

Keretapi yang Dirindu...

I still remember those days when I used to travel by rail. Those scary-looking locomotives. The smell of metal. The swings and shakes that made it almost futile just to walk from your seat to the toilets. And toilets? You could actually see the rail through the toilet bowl. And the sound of metal clashing and banging from underneath the coaches. Miss those days.
Now, our trains are more... ermm... modern? They look better. The locomotives are more powerful. The coaches look better. But I haven't been on board a train (except LRTs and Komuter) for many years now. I just see them from the outside. I can't really say about the toilets now. I hope passengers don't have to see the rails underneath them while they're using the bowl anymore.
But I know for a fact that the rails are still the same. Well, I guess they do replace the rails and slippers as and when necessary. The routes are the same I guess, probably with some different views and scenery here and there. I hope Bukit Berapit route is safer now. Whatever it is, I miss traveling by train. I miss the scenery the trip has to offer. I miss the swings and shakes. But I definitely do not miss the open-bottom toilet bowls!

So guys, what about all of us on vacation somewhere far - by rail? Cuti sekolah nak dekat ni!

Secret Recipe

Hey K-ozzies!

How's everybody? Hope you guys had a really nice and relaxing weekend. Anyway, nothing much to tell, just thought of posting these pics taken on the Secret Recipe outing. Can't remember the date, SORRY! Thanks to our lovely and generous miss Emm-n-Emm for treating us that day. The pics are too candid and blur.. but it's alright kan.. as long as the precious moments were captured (gambar cam group rock wajib mesti ada!). Too bad for those who couldn't come - Sam The Great and G-string.. We missed you!

For the rest, I believe everybody enjoyed their meal (I know I did - that yummy Tom Yam noodles and Apple Kasturi, even though I salivated over Pootz's meal). Still can't get forget Moon's generosity and good heart by presenting Emm and the Queen their VERY BELATED birthday presents, it was hilarious, thanks to Pootz! and oh yes, the presents were really cute, nice one Moon! ;-)

I think everybody had a good time that day eventhough a tad too short for me. Not enough time to catch up with everybody. Anyway, hope to do this again sometime (very very soon, I hope) and hopefully with the full quorum.

Okie then, signing off for tonight. Take care people! Be good!

Miss u lots and much love!

Happy K-Oz Day

Hi K-Ozzies!!!

Sorry this is a belated wish! Haven't got the time during the weekends. So, K-Oz is one year huh? How fast time flies. Looking back at the past year, there so many changes happened in our group huh? From being 11 together, now some of us are scattered about. Some near, some far, some still together.

I hope everybody will still use this blog as a place for us to update on each other lives. It would be nice if everybody would post something about themselves here. Whats new in their life. Whats happening etc. Whatever that matters to you, matters to the rest of us.

We should do that gathering! Maybe a fun day in the sun or a melodious day in the karaoke, a satisfied day in a nice restaurant, whatever.. so keep the ideas coming!

I wish everybody a great year ahead, and i hope we'll stay together. Much love! Happy K-oz Day!

So here's a speacial song for special people in my life!!

I needed the shelter of someone's arms and there you were
I needed someone to understand my ups and downs
And there you were
With sweet love and devotion, deeply touching my emotion
I want to stop, and thank you baby
I just want to stop, and thank you baby
How sweet it is to be loved by you
How sweet it is to be loved by you

I close my eyes at night
Wondering where would I be without you in my life
Everything I did was just a bore
Everywhere I went it seems I'd been there before
But you brighten up for me all of my days
With a love so sweet in so many ways
I want to stop and thank you baby
I just want to stop and thank you baby
How sweet it is to be loved by you
How sweet it is to be loved by you

You were better for me than I was for myself
For me, there's you and there ain't nobody else
I want to stop and thank you baby
I just want to stop and thank you baby
How sweet it is to be loved by you
How sweet it is to be loved by you

- How Sweet It Is To Be Loved By You (Marvin Gaye) -

Gubra

I watched gubra last night.

Gubra is on a different level from Sepet. You can't really compare between those two films.

Sepet is more "pop" ... dia straight to the point.. gubra ni cam nak sampaikan messages.. halfway thru the film i was kinda bored and dok fikir.. apa la message citer ni.. but then bila dah nak abis tu.. I think different people will have different understanding of the film. Its back to how different people has different perceptions.

For me, I think the film is about love between different generations and different types of people,those who give love will see how much they sacrifice for their loved ones and those who always receive will realise to appreciate those who gave their love

love for a friend, love for spouse, love for your family love for people, love in general.. etc.

I salute la yasmin ahmad ni in her way of expressing her views towards things.. like one of the characters dpt tau dia ada HIV. u dont have to have a dialogue to convey that. Yasmin Ahmad is a great storyteller.

Beautiful cinematography, great acting (Sharifah Amani was superb!), very poetic.

Gubra is thought provoking and controversial. You will get out of the cinema thinking.

As for me, I went out of the cinema feeling confused. Kahkahkah

Alien

I remember during my university life when my friends and I were having this academic discussion. One of my friends actually said 'the natural rule of justice' when what he meant (and what it was supposed to be) was 'the rule of natural justice' instead.

Another friend, on the same topic, actually said 'nemo judex injuria' instead of 'nemo judex in causa sua'. Nemo judex in causa sua means 'no man can be a judge of his own cause' so our guess was that nemo judex injuria must have meant 'no man can be a judge if he's injured'.

Of course we had a good laugh then.

Something to Share

"Everyone in the world needs someone they can depend on. Be they faithful friends, determined advocates, or a loving family. But occasionally in life, the people we thought would always be there for us…leave. And if that happens, it’s amazing the lengths we’ll go to, to get them back."

- Mary Alice Young, Desperates Housewives

I Miss...

I miss the LRT
The crowd, the heat, the inconvenience during peak hours. Of course, the occassionally 'bau tilam' smell. But most of all, the climbing up the stairs at the stations.

I miss Bang Din
The morning express and efficient service of telur setengah masak and his nasi goreng kampung. Wow!

I miss ISO
Hmm... I don't know why but I think I miss his voice. The sound of his voice, that is. And his grin... and his stare...

I miss the lift thrill
Yup! The lift. Everytime when the 'ting' sound, I'd look at the display, hoping it doesn't stop at the 1st floor! ahahhahaha....!!!

You know the outcome of this entry right?
I MISS YOU ALL!

Amigos Para Siempre

It's been quite a while huh? It's soooo goood to be back. Thanks Pootz for inviting me!! It's funny though... i am the one who started this whole thing and I am the one who lost the username, the password. Some confusion in my brain.

So let's see. Our first post in here was on 23rd April 2005! Wow! How time flies! Today last year, I don't even know what blog means. I guess a lot have changed huh.

So anyway, today I am writing just to say I miss this blog so much! Thanks for Lampin and Pootz for keeping this blog alive. I'll try my best to keep it going too. For others, come on, join in. Keep on posting!

The important question is.. shall we make 23rd April as the official K-Oz day? What say you? And I really hope the next gathering there will be a complete quorum so that finally we can take a proper photo of the K-Ozzies!

Okie.. till next time.

Amigos Para Siempre.

Much love!

Now and Then

Forever and ever

You'll stay in my heart and

I will love you

Forever and ever

We never will part

Oh how I'll love you

Together forever

That's how it must be

To live without you

Would only be heartbreak for me

It Has Been A Year!!

Hello fellow K-Ozies!!
It has been a year and Najwa Aiman has produced another novel. This time I gave him a good preview and I think even he couldn't believe me himself.... well, I may be a bit generous as I am now having this maternal glow with a 17 week old baby inside my belly!!!
So, how's everyone....? latest update, only 5 are left (you may call us idiots, but this is where our rezeki is promised). Moon has resigned from his latest job, Lampin is happily working for another company, so are Sam and Syir.... Carebear is seriously considering leaving her current job.. hang in there my friend!! Emm is also following my footsteps of producing another baby....
On this end, Dubuk is still demure and enigmatic (not that we care). And yes, Shaff (who has yet to post anything here after a year) is also expecting another new addition to the family. Hmmm... baby boom this year!!! G-String is still well... stringy, Queen Amidala is as alaways still a Diva....
Our first Saturday breakfast went on for the first 2 months of 2006... didn't work... but our first reunion of 2006 was a success (thanks to Emm's sponsorship) where everybody except Sam and G-String, turn up and later some went for a karaoke session at the usual joint..... had fun (Lampin - Asalkan Kau Tidak Menjadi Penjahat Lagi!!)
I sincerely miss you lot!!
Keep visiting the blog and those who can write in, please do so!!!! Keep this blog alive!!!

Eleven Forever

Used to be eleven
those happy times
and happiness still shines
in your hearts and mine

And five are still together
each other within sights
and the rest are always near
sharing emotions forever

Respect Your Friends

Friendship is about respecting your friends. Respect what they like and dislike. True. Very true. He who treats others with disrespect does not deserve to be called a friend. It's a relationship that demands one to respect others. It's just like a relationship between a boss and a staff, a father and his son, an elderly and a teenager.

The only difference is that in a friendship, the respect is also coupled with the attempt to accept the others as what they are. That's what makes friendship a special relationship compared to others.

If such acceptance is not present, it's not friendship, and the odd one out should remain to be out.

I concur... and I comply accordingly....

Evergreen Aidil Fitri

Aduhai.... kat mana nak cari lagu2 ni....???? Hehehe... maaf ya... aku tau baru tiga hari je posa... tapi aku nak jugak cari lagu2 ni..... ada tak...????

Pulang di Hari Raya – Noor Kumalasari

Suasana Hari Raya – Anuar & Ellina

Dendang Perantau – P. Ramlee

Menjelang Hari Raya – D.J. Dave

Satu Hari Di Hari Raya – M. Nasir

Selamat Hari Raya – Saloma

Dari Jauh Kupohon Maaf – Sudirman

Kupohon Restu ayah Bonda – ???..Entah.. siapa ya..???

Manusia Miskin Kaya – Eddy Nor Ali

Bersabarlah Sayang – Sanisah Huri

Aidil Fitri – Fazidah Joned

Kepulangan Yang Dinanti – Aman Shah

Selamat Hari Raya – Sudirman

Selamat Berhari Raya – Rahimah Rahim

Aidil Fitri – Allahyarhamah Datin Rafeah Buang

Suasana Riang di Hari Raya - Junaidah

Bila Takbir Bergema – Allahyarhamah Datin Rafeah Buang

Hari Yang Mulia – Sharifah Aini

Selamat Hari Raya – Ahmad Jais

Seloka Hari Raya – Uji & Hail

Suasana Hari Raya – Sharifah Aini

Bila Hari Raya – Various artists

Selamat Hari Lebaran – Sharifah Aini

Suara Takbir – P. Ramlee

Nak baliiikkkk......! Windu laaa....!!!

It's Not Easy

It's not easy
to say no
when you didn't mean so

It's not easy
to say goodbye
and not cry

It's not easy
to not love you
and you know
that it's true

Merely Sentiment

Doing new things in a new environment gives new experience. I've never done this before but I'm doing it now. It has been so many years that I was asked to do it, but I finally decided to go for it just a few weeks back.

So, how does it feel like? My friend was right about one thing - the things we normally dislike to do are those things we haven't even done yet! So it's just sentiment, as he puts it.

Yes, I do like what I'm doing now - for the moment. I hope this feeling lasts.

And do I miss my home?

Ermm....

That Bau Tilam Smell

I had to take the LRT early again this morning because of some urgent documents that needed urgent attention. So I guess I just took the LRT. It was Monday Morning and everybody seemed to want to be early in the office. The LRT was packed like the very nostalgic mini bus. Before boarding the LRT I was almost praying not to let men surround me in the crowded and packed train. God knows where their eyes and hands would land upon.

Thank God I was surrounded but ladies. But then – yiekhh! That smell. The smell that my hostel boy friends used to term as “bau tilam”. The “mattress smell”. You know, that smell almost everybody emits when they wake up every morning. So the only way to get rid of such smell is to take a simple shower – with soap of course. Then the smell is gone, and you can continue with your life – whatever that will be – as usual.

But I simply cannot accept that there are still women in such a tropical climate country like ours who do not take their showers in the morning. They just rise out of bed, change their clothes and jumped onto a packed and crowded LRT. They don’t even have the courtesy to respect other people’s scent-perceptive-receiver-device (a.k.a. nose) which are still functioning perfectly and efficiently! So efficient that the device can actually still differentiate between pleasant and ghastly despicable aroma. If they are not meticulous and be bothered about their own personal grooming (not to mention hygiene), then please be sensitive to others. I had to stand behind this executive-attired lady complete with blazers, but the aroma emanated from her body was even worse than that discharged from a cadaver! Uwwweekkk…!!!

Come on women! Being equal to men doesn’t have to mean that we should also smell like them! Clean yourselves up!

"Friends are Forever"

I didn't realize it at first, but now when everytime I entered the L&C Department, I remembered that I used to have that urge to hug this lady who used to be just beside that big pillar. She would always be the one who actually looked at me every time I entered L&C. She would always be the one who would give me that cooling looks, melting away all of my stress that I was thriving to get rid of. She only needed to give me that look, that usual stare, and I would feel relieved immediately. Why so? Because she never, never, never failed to accompany that look with a smile!

She's no longer there, though, and now I realized that I've lost what I've taken for granted all these while - her existence!

I don't know what to write. I don't know how to write. But I know good words when i found one. And here they are, extracted from th einternet, just for you, Jan:

Friends are forever,
Friends are for real.
Friends are for expressing,
All the emotions we try to hide, but feel.
Friends are the flowers,
which line the river's edge.
They are for sharing, and for caring,
and for the shields they place around us, like a hedge.
Friends are for leaning on,
They are for helping, and comforting, too.
It would take forever,
to describe all that they are,
and true ones, are scattered and few.
I am truly blessed in every way,
and I thank the Lord on every day,
because I have such a good Friend in YOU!

~Sandra Lewis Pringle~